Understanding the Flying Monkeys and Hoovering Tactics in Narcissistic Relationships

Have you ever noticed a strange and unsettling pattern of contact from people who seem to be stalking your space, all under the guise of reporting to the boss? These individuals, often referred to as flying monkeys, can be a clear indicator that a grander scheme may soon unfold.

What Are Flying Monkeys?

Flying monkeys, in the context of narcissistic behavior, are people who are tasked with gathering information or stirring up drama. They are sent out to assess your emotional state and gauge your response, often after a period of disconnection from the main instigator, the narcissist. These individuals are usually operating on behalf of the narcissist, subtly maneuvering to understand how you will react.

Intent behind Flying Monkeys and Hoovering

The use of flying monkeys is purposeful. A narcissist is essentially testing the waters to see if you are still interested in reuniting. By sending out someone else, they avoid direct confrontation and maintain their facade of innocence. Their primary goal is to check your emotional temperature and, most importantly, to determine your reaction.

What to Do When Encountering Flying Monkeys

The best course of action in such situations is to be cautious and establish clear boundaries. Here are some steps you can take:

Stay away from all of it: If you know the flying monkeys are associated with a toxic individual, distance yourself. They might try to provoke a response from you, but they will not get it. Be aloof and speak little: When they do contact you, do not engage. Be detached and dismissive. This lack of response can be extremely disconcerting for them. Set clear boundaries: If they continue to try to engage you, firmly set boundaries. For example, if they try to discuss your ex, tell them, I am not going to discuss that. Change the subject to anything else.

By cutting off all ties and maintaining silence, you show that you are done and do not intend to have anything to do with them or the narcissist.

What if the Hoovering Attempt Fails?

Should the flying monkeys' attempts not produce the desired results, the narcissist may attempt to take over personally. This is often referred to as hoovering. Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by emotionally manipulative individuals to regain lost attention and control over their target.

To prevent hoovering, it is crucial to maintain emotional resilience and personal boundaries. Do not engage with them or give them any sense of validation. Stay strong and refuse to let their attempts get to you.

Conclusion

The flying monkey phenomenon is a telltale sign of a potential hoovering attempt. By understanding their tactics and how to respond, you can protect your emotional well-being and avoid falling into the traps set by manipulative individuals. Always trust your instincts and prioritize your own emotional health in toxic situations.