Parody of a Stereotypical Young Adult Story: A Night at Wishingstone

It was a dreary, rain-drenched evening, and the moaning of some fictional werewolves was heard as the wind howled from the darkened sky. The next day, our beloved heroine, Esmeralda Audatia Saphire Ruby of Wishingstone, awoke in her bed. Her long and firm, if somewhat small, peeked out from under the covers, followed by her burly breasts. With a loud yawn, she swung her legs over the bed, the covers sliding down to expose even more of her… shall we say, assets.

Introduction

“Good morning, Esmeralda Audatia Saphire Ruby of Wishingstone. A pity you're so ugly,” she whispered to the mirror. To which she giggled, knowing full well that everyone, even her parents, hated her. They never seemed to understand a thing, except that she was different. And not in a good way.

“Hurry to breakfast, Cartomancia is waiting,” shouted her mother from the kitchen, making a mock reference to Esmeralda’s childhood nickname. She sighed shakily. “No one understands me.”

The Breakfast Table

Esmeralda rushed to the breakfast table, where a mountain of pancakes, fancy new-age food, and various snacks and fruits awaited. She quickly scanned her way past a glistening glass of orange juice to avoid getting fat by staring at it. With a loud slam, she shut the door behind her, hurrying to school.

A motorcycle roared past as she drove the embarrassing small car her father gave her for her seventeenth birthday. She once had a fondness for the man, but he once left the toothpaste open, leading to his wife's eventual divorce. Esmeralda refused to forgive him for that.

Arrival at School

As she arrived at school, a crowd of her so-called friends greeted her. There was Amethyst, the tall and beautiful antagonist; Joey, the lovable but minor character doomed to die; and Pygmalion, the perfect choice with decent upbringing, manners, and morals, who was just a friend. Suddenly, a motorbike pulled into the parking lot. Theodore Randall Carmichael-Bitchings, the quintessential bad boy, elegantly lifted his leg over the motorcycle, approaching them with arrogance.

Everyone knew he was bad due to "things and leather." He stopped at the doorway and caught a fleeting glance at Esmeralda before handing her an invitation to his birthday party, much to everyone's surprise, including the werewolves lurking nearby.

The Party and Love Interests

The second chapter begins by introducing the danger of the Love-interest. Chapter three establishes the love triangle. Chapter four kills poor Joey and sinks into angst. The fifth chapter delves deeper into the angst. In the sixth chapter, the Protagonist kisses the Love-interest while the Just-friends see it all. Chapter seven brings a different kind of angst.

And so on. The plot advances, filled with predictable twists and turns. Finally, in the eighth chapter, the Just-friends chivalrously give up, and the Bad Boy Love-interest becomes a boring nice guy in disguise, leading to a happy ending.

Conclusion

It's safe to say that the world of young adult fiction is filled with these predictable and clichéd storylines. While it might make for a fun read, it's far from the reality of most young adult experiences. Nevertheless, the formula seems to work, and many readers continue to enjoy these tales, regardless of their realism.

So, the next time you pick up a young adult book, take a moment to see if it fits this familiar mold. You might be surprised by how many stories there are like this one, and how easily they fit the clichéd patterns.