Navigating Friendship With Someone Suspected of Having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Being a friend to someone who may be experiencing Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) can be challenging. It is crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity, understanding, and respect for their privacy and safety. This article will discuss why it is essential to keep doubts to yourself and how to support your friend properly without invading their personal space.

Why Not to Share Your Concerns

If you suspect that your friend might have DID, sharing your concerns with them can be risky for several reasons:

Risk of Trauma

DID often develops as a defense mechanism to cope with severe trauma. By sharing your suspicions, you might expose your friend to the very trauma that they are trying to manage. Most DID systems become self-aware only when it is safe for them to do so. Pressuring them to acknowledge their condition could be harmful and could potentially push them back into harmful situations.

Avoiding Misunderstandings

On the other hand, if your suspicions are incorrect, your friend may become confused and misdirected. This added confusion could have detrimental effects on their well-being. It is important to respect their journey and let them seek help in their own time and in their own way.

Previous Experiences

There have been cases where friends of DID individuals recognized the signs and supported them without revealing their suspicions. For example, one such individual experienced the unconditional support of their friends before they even knew about their DID. When ready, they came out to their friends, and the friends were able to say that they knew all along. Breaking the news prematurely could have complicated this smooth transition. It is important to be patient and trust the individual's timeline.

How to Be a Supportive Friend

Supporting your friend with DID means staying true to yourself and being a reliable presence in their life. Here are some ways you can be a supportive friend:

Be Accepting and Non-Judgmental

Avoid being critical or judgmental. Your role as a friend is not to fix them but to support them. Accuse them, judge their choices, or pressure them into accepting your views. Instead, simply accept them for who they are.

Do Not Bombard with Questions

Resist the urge to interrogate your friend about their experiences. They will share what they are comfortable with when they are ready. Respect their boundaries and do not push them for information that they are not ready to share.

Assure Privacy and Confidentiality

What your friend tells you must remain between the two of you. Avoid gossip and sharing information with others, as this can be detrimental to their trust and mental well-being. Trust is a crucial element in any relationship, especially when dealing with sensitive issues like DID.

Examples of Trust Issues in Friendship

Trust is a valuable asset in any friendship. However, in DID friendships, trust can be easily compromised. For example, if a friend begins to feel invaded by your curiosity about their DID, it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship. Curiosity can turn into an unhealthy obsession, leading to a perceived lack of respect for boundaries.

Consider the case of a friend who began acting like your DID was a science experiment rather than a part of your life. She no longer treated you as she did before knowing about your DID. When she asked, you were honest about her being correct, but you also set boundaries. You shared that you were only comfortable discussing your main alter and that any other interactions would be kept confidential. Despite multiple times disregarding these boundaries, your friend ultimately caused harm to your trust in the relationship, leading to its end.

In some cases, you may not be entirely wrong in your suspicions. However, it is crucial to respect the individual's timeline and boundaries. Set clear expectations and communicate them respectfully. Let them know that you are there for them and that you will support them through their journey, regardless of their decisions.

By understanding the complexities of DID and the importance of patience, respect, and trust, you can provide the best possible support to your friend. Remember, your role is not to diagnose or fix them but to be a reliable and supportive presence in their life.