How to React to a Flock of Velociraptors in Your Backyard: A Comprehensive Guide

If you believe a velociraptor or a flock of them is hiding in your backyard, it is crucial to remain calm and assess the situation carefully. Whether this scenario is a playful prank or a thrilling fantasy, here are the steps to follow ensure your safety and the safety of your family and pets.

Stay Calm

The first and most important step is to remain calm. While it might seem like a realistic scenario, velociraptors are fictional creatures from movies and do not exist in reality. Attempting to panic will only make the situation more tense and potentially lead to unnecessary actions that may be harmful.

Observe from a Safe Distance

Try to observe the situation from a safe distance. If possible, look out from a window and use binoculars or a camera with a zoom lens to determine the number of velociraptors present and observe their behavior. This information will help you make informed decisions on how to proceed.

Secure Your Home

Ensure that all doors and windows are securely locked to prevent any potential entry by the velociraptors. Keep pets indoors and away from windows to avoid undue stress or danger.

Avoid Confrontation

Do not attempt to approach the velociraptors. They are predatory creatures and could pose a significant danger. Avoid any actions that might provoke them into an attack.

Contact Authorities

If you genuinely believe there are velociraptors outside, contact local wildlife authorities or animal control for assistance. Provide them with as much information as possible to aid in their response to the situation.

Wait it Out

If the velociraptors are not posing an immediate threat, it might be best to wait until they leave on their own. Remember that velociraptors are not known to hunt in packs, and most are likely just a flock of birds or small creatures that resemble velociraptors in appearance. They are no more dangerous than geese and probably less aggressive.

Prepare for the Unexpected

Prepare for any unexpected situations. Keep all necessary documents and emergency supplies readily available. Inform all family members on what to do in case the situation escalates.

Real Raptors vs. Fictional Ones

It is important to understand that real raptors, such as birds of prey, are not the man-sized abominations from Jurassic Park movies. In reality, they are roughly the size of a turkey or mute swan and do not hunt in packs or exhibit sophisticated behavior. You would be much too large for them to risk attacking, and they would likely prefer smaller prey such as cats, rabbits, or small dogs.

What to Do When They Don't Leave

If the velociraptors do not leave on their own, consider what actions you might take. Depending on their perceived threat, you might either wait for them to leave or use non-threatening methods to scare them away, such as shouting to make noise.

Scenario-Specific Actions

Depending on which version of Velociraptors you are dealing with—the puny feathered ones or the larger movie version—the steps you should take may vary.

Puny Feathered Raptors

In this scenario, treat the velociraptors like a flock of birds. If you had a flock of birds hiding in the bushes, what would you do? Follow the same steps.

Movie Raptors

In the movie version, the actions you should take depend on the reasons why the velociraptors are hiding.

Assess Their Intentions

Are they curious or interested in you, your house, your backyard, or other animals living in your backyard? Do you have pets that they might be curious about? Are your children in the area? Are the Raptors aggressive and want to attack? Are they stalking you or anyone in your family? Do they have any other motives as to why they’re hiding in the bushes?

Without more information, your best course of action is to trust your instincts and proceed accordingly. Stay alert and cautious.

Conclusion

Though it may seem daunting to deal with a fictional flock of velociraptors in your backyard, by staying calm and observing the situation from a safe distance, you will be better equipped to respond appropriately. Understanding the real behavior of raptors can help alleviate unnecessary fears and provide a clearer course of action. Whether it is a fun fantasy scenario or a real-life situation, being prepared and informed is key.