Choosing Not to Have Children: A Selfless Act of Self Care

Selfish to Whom?

My husband of 33 years and I are childless by choice. We don't want a dog either. Our decision has always been a personal one, reflecting our unique preferences and values. The notion that our choice is selfish is a misconception.

No, It’s Self Care and Self Respect

It is wise to do what you need to do for your own well-being. Most people choose to have children with a mix of selfish desires and a sense of fulfillment. For us, the reasons for not wanting children are simple and rational. We believe it is much more responsible and self-respecting to live our lives on our own terms.

Accepting the Validity of Our Choice

Absolutely not. It doesn’t matter what the reason is for not wanting children. If a reason exists, it is perfectly valid not to have them. Every child deserves to be wanted. Not wanting the responsibilities of parenthood is a very logical and valid reason not to have children. It is not selfish but realistic.

The True Nature of Human Children

The concept of a child is both wondrous and complex. Children are the most creative and violent creatures on the planet, and their worldviews are shaped by their experiences. Innocent babies grow up to become adults with diverse beliefs and actions, some positive and some negative.

Take, for example, the tragic incidents like the Sandy Hook shooting, the 9/11 attacks, and the Holocaust. These events remind us of the unpredictable nature of human life. Children can grow up to have radical beliefs or actions. However, the same concept applies to the good that has been achieved through the nurturing of young minds.

Every child is a life force, a being that deserves to be wanted and protected. The universe may be indifferent to life, but for those of us fortunate enough to have lived fortunate lives, the thought of costing a child a chance to be cherished is not something to take lightly.

An Ongoing Global Crisis

Currently, there are over seven billion people alive, a situation that contributes to global warming and an overpopulated planet. The future does not look rosy for our children. It is not only about pleasing others for a few years when babies are novel.

Adopting instead of having biological children is often a more humane choice, as the children in need of care are already here and in dire need of attention. Making decisions on behalf of yourself and the society of which your child will be a part purely based on instinct and a skewed notion of couplehood is not a wise path.

Consider your reasons before deciding to have a child. Think deeply about the nature of man and human behavior. DNA and instinct may push you towards having a child, but you also have the access to logic and common sense that your ancestors could only dream of.

Ultimately, we cannot be blamed for our genetic makeup, which desperately needs replication and gene transmission. However, we are living in a time where we can make informed decisions based on reason and understanding rather than impulse.

Try to think about the reasons people even consider having a child in the first place. This might provide you with strong insights into the nature of man and the complexities of human relationships.